old version SDS
by Wafflecat1
Summary: Old fic...
1. The Remarkable Escape that Ended with A ...

A/N: You have no clue what hell I went through to make this story x.O . And it only turned out to be 6 pages long...Ah well.  
I couldn't have done it without the help and encouragement from Chelz! (Killer Goth Girl and Dead Kitty). She was the one who actually gave me the ideas and such. She also beta-read my fic D WUU!  
I also must thank Irken Insane for letting me use her word 'WEE-CHA!!!'. Mwa.  
Oh yes...before I made the fic, a lot of fan art was made...^^; Heh....  
  
-Wafflecat (me):  
http://www.side7.com/cgi-bin/S7SDB/DisplayImg.pl?INO=121994  
http://www.side7.com/cgi-bin/S7SDB/DisplayImg.pl?INO=112184  
http://www.side7.com/cgi-bin/S7SDB/DisplayImg.pl?INO=95770  
-Killer Goth Girl:   
http://www.side7.com/cgi-bin/S7SDB/DisplayImg.pl?INO=124347   
http://www.side7.com/cgi-bin/S7SDB/DisplayImg.pl?INO=127076   
http://www.side7.com/cgi-bin/S7SDB/DisplayImg.pl?INO=122934   
http://www.side7.com/cgi-bin/S7SDB/DisplayImg.pl?INO=127082  
http://www.side7.com/cgi-bin/S7SDB/DisplayImg.pl?INO=122205  
http://www.side7.com/cgi-bin/S7SDB/DisplayImg.pl?INO=122200  
-Lord Jessikhan:  
http://www.side7.com/cgi-bin/S7SDB/DisplayImg.pl?INO=96634  
-Daz  
http://www.side7.com/cgi-bin/S7SDB/DisplayImg.pl?INO=132678  
-Irken Insane  
http://www.side7.com/cgi-bin/S7SDB/DisplayImg.pl?INO=133456  
  
Disclaimer: All Invader Zim persona is (c) Jhonen Vasquez. Uncle Kracker belongs to himself! (Hee...)  
Cat, Strawberry, the Juba Beast, and the Laij-khan race belong to me!  
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S p o o k y, D o o m, S p o o k y !   
  
Ch. 1- The Remarkable Escape that Ended with A Low Supply of Juice   
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Planet Melek. Not only was this planet unknown to the universe, but those who did know of this planet wouldn't ever speak of it. It was located very close to the infamous planet Irk, but was avoided at all cost.   
No Irken could forget the horrible events that happened during Operation Impending Doom I. Besides half of planet being destroyed by one destructo-bot, the armada had went through a series of fights that even the oldest Irken couldn't have predicted.   
  
Nothing has been heard about the planet since the near-defeat of the Irken Empire, though there are a great deal of rumors about it. The occasional 'invader-sent-back-with-their-month-sewn-shut' would appear as well as the 'Irkens In Black' rumors. The frightening thing about them is that a crew that had came back from the planet did have various body parts damaged; one member's arm seemed to have been stitched on, as if it were once apart from it's socket. The IIB stories--well...they speak for themselves.  
  
The inhabitants, oddly called 'Laij-khan', were underground dwellers. They burrowed the whole planet into tunnels that reached into the remote regions below the surface. They were moderately advanced; if their technology failed them, they could always use their mighty potency instead.   
  
The most frightening thing about the Laij-khan would have had to be their leader. It was a creature that could alter its form into anything it touched. It was counted as omnipotent.   
One word can explain why they hadn't attacked since OID1:  
Retaliation.   
Unfortunately, during the process of reprisal, sacrifices must be made...  
  
"GAAAAH!!!!" screamed the Irken. She squirmed and twisted in terror. "Lemme go, lemme go, lemme GO!!!!"  
  
She pulled at the ropes that bound her to the pole she was tied to. The pole was planted onto a lone dais in the middle of a fiery lava pit. Long beads of sweat were slowly trickling down the side her face. She felt the sudden urge to take off her black star-patterned scarf, not forgetting the fact that her wrists were also tied. Her black boots lay suspended in air, still snapped to her legs, coming up to just below her knees. Violet eyes squinted though the waves of heat, looking for some kind of exit.   
  
Next to her was another pole, her absentminded S.I.R. tied to it. It was slightly smaller than your average retrieval unit, being only half of her masters' height. Her small metallic claws and feet were red reflecting from the lava's glow. Her large red eyes were wide with wonder.   
  
"Wuuu..." she cooed, "Why are we here, Catty?"  
  
The Irken twitched. "Don't call me Catty."  
  
"Yes sir."  
  
A shiver ran through Cat's spine. She glanced at either sides of the pit, looking for any kind of exit. How she had even gotten into the room left her clueless. All the events that had happened in the past few days where just a blurry memory...  
  
"You don't know how you met me, you don't know why, you can't turn around and say goodbye..."  
  
"Eh?" Cat growled. She turned her head see Strawberry with her eyes closed, mouth twisted into a grin. She began to bop her head from side to side, and began kicking her legs.   
  
"All you know is when I'm with you, I make you free...And swim through your veins like a fish in the sea...  
I'm singin'--"  
  
"Strawberry..."  
  
She acted as if she didn't hear her. "Follow me everything is alright...I'll be the one to tuck you in at night...  
And if you want to leave I can guarantee--You won't find nobody else like me--"  
  
"STRAWBERRY!"  
  
The S.I.R. paused. "Yeeeees...?"  
  
"We're NOT in the Apollo theater," scowled Cat.   
  
Strawberry's eyes grew big. "What's the Apollo?"  
  
Cat's eyes also grew rather large. "I...don't...know...!" She closed her own eyes, hoping for the nightmare to end...  
  
* * *  
"Hey master....."  
  
Nothing.  
  
"Master...."  
  
Still nothing.  
  
"MASTER!!"  
  
"Yes?!" cried Cat. Every inch of her body was covered with sweat, her clothes clinging her green skin. The heat was getting unbearable, and her obnoxious S.I.R.'s singing and screaming wasn't making it any better.   
  
"Umm...master....," trailed off the S.I.R.  
  
"Yes, Strawberry?" Cat asked once again.  
  
"Wuz dat?" she asked, aiming her head forward.   
  
Cat sighed. "What are you talk--," she paused.   
  
Right above them where a pair of glaring crimson eyes. She could make out a large figure laying in the magma, rocking slowly. The eyes then turned into thin slits.   
  
Cat stared into the eyes stupidly. Minutes passed. The body then began to loom over the dais, a low growl coming from within it:  
  
"Are you afraid?"  
  
That was the last thing Cat thought the beast would say. A quick killing is bad enough, but would it have to torture her with it's drawling speech?  
  
"Or, you could say I'm a Juba."  
  
Cat's eyes widened in surprise. It wasn't everyday she ran into a creature that was believed to be a myth, or, in other words, a creature that was apart of the most feared society in whole universe.   
  
The Juba, as far as Cat knew, was an ancient monster that could take the organic DNA matter of any creature, and turn into it itself. It was also a ferocious devourer that could eat anything from the small reptiles of Planukia to an Irken Imperial Battle Cruiser. If this beast was a Juba, Cat thought, then she was certainly done for.   
  
She began to fidget nervously, oblivious of the large claw that had risen from the lava. Unseen by Cat, it gently pressed and slid across the her face. She froze. An odd sensation went over her body as she went limp.  
  
The Juba Beast closed its eyes. Then, quick as lightning, he slashed his claw across Cat's face. She whipped her head to the side and let out a fatal cry. She slowly turned her head back into the direction of the Juba.  
  
"Why was I brought here...!?" she demanded, pushing away all fears. The scratch still burned, glowing red.  
  
It stood silent for a moment, and said "You must be rid of."  
  
Cat blinked madly. "ME?!...If you wanted to get *me*, one of your options wouldn't have been to destroy the STCP chain."  
  
The Juba sighed. "You are a block. A block in our plan. A block that must be moved. A block-- that must be destroyed."  
  
And with that, it turned its colossal head to a side, and bit off the top of the dais.  
  
The mouth was like a vast cave, its esophagus a dark abyss. The poles snapped in half as it passed through its sharp teeth. The two were released from the ropes' grip. Strawberry landed on the inside of its jaw line, and slid down onto its long, flopping tongue. The beast leaned its head back, and inhaled.   
  
"Strawberry--!"  
  
The frightened S.I.R. looked back to see Cat falling toward the back of the Juba's throat. She extracted her arachnid legs, and began to push against the wet walls of its throat. She carefully reached for her backpack, and touched a pad. She pulled out a long curved slingshot-shaped blade, and clutched it in her hand. She rocked forward slightly, and slugged.  
  
the blade down its throat.  
  
Strawberry let out a shrewd battle cry, and flew to Cat's aid. Cat grabbed a hold of her antennae transmitter, and straddled her legs around her head. She let her spider legs let go of its grip on the walls just as her companion shot up toward the mouth opening. Strawberry was determined to get her master out safely-- not to mention her own desire to leave the planet with all of her limbs intact.   
  
The S.I.R. aimed herself strait toward the light peeping through the creature's teeth.  
  
POW!  
S.B.'s head smashed through the opening, making her stuck.   
  
She made an attempt to squeeze though, only to get herself even more wedged between the teeth.  
Sticky saliva poured onto her head, blinding her. Finally, she pulled through, covering her whole body with the slimy substance. She pulled Cat through the gap, getting her covered with the sticky goo as well. The irritated Irken once again grabbed hold of Strawberry's transmitter, shivering.  
  
"Go."  
  
Strawberry lunged forward. The rocket jets on the heels of her feet came to life, and propelled them up to the ceiling. Cat noticed a large dirt clod fall onto her S.I.R.'s head.  
  
"Master...what do you want me to--"  
  
"Dig Strawberry, DIG, DIG!!!" Cat cried.  
  
The S.I.R. clawed into the ceiling repetitively. Small clumps of dirt fell from the ceiling, now falling onto Cat's face. She grimaced, but smirked when a thin beam of light shined through the dirt. The beam got larger, leaving a hole large enough for the duo to climb through. The choking and hissing sound of the Juba filled the cove, making Cat more nervous by the second.  
  
Strawberry pulled herself and Cat up through the hole. She rolled to the side, making Cat release her grip from her transmitter.  
  
"Ahhh...," groaned Cat. "We're actually alive..."  
  
"For now anyway!" chirped Strawberry. Cat scowled. She had lay down on the soft floor that was unusually covered with moss, and closed her eyes.   
  
"Strawberry...find something to cover up the hole..."  
  
Strawberry scampered around the room. She looked up to see two large glowing spheres that were emitting light into the room.   
  
"Ooooh...," she cooed. She looked around at the blank walls that were covered with thick moss and vines that had curled and twisted its way around the room. Cat had laid down between two thick vines that both resembled a tree root. Wondering about the whole room's appearance, she ran smack into a metal object. Gazing up at what she had ran into, she screamed:  
  
"MASTER!!!!"  
  
Cat winced. "Did you find anything?"  
  
"YEA!!!!"  
  
"....Is it big enough to cover up the hole?"  
  
"YES!!!!!!"  
  
Cat gathered all the strength she had left, stood up, and looked around the room for her S.I.R.  
  
"Where are you--"  
There, standing less than 10 feet away, was a large space craft leaning against the leafy wall. An excited Strawberry pointed at it, bouncing up and down. Cat blinked once, twice, three times.  
  
"SEE IT?!"  
  
"Yes, I can see it. I just don't BELIEVE it. That was NOT there when we first came in."  
  
Strawberry blinked. "DO YOU SEE IT?"  
  
"Yes."  
  
"DO YOU SEE IT?!"  
  
"Yes."  
  
"DO YOU SEE IT?!"  
  
"Yes. I see it."   
  
"Alright!" Strawberry fell the ground, grabbed her legs, and squealed in glee.  
  
The craft was long, being at about 15 feet in length. But, unlike its length, its height was barely taller than Cat, not being very tall herself. The craft was pointed on both ends, resulting to look like a long scythe. Two long spikes that resembled horns stuck out from it on either side. There was a long black-tinted shield that covered the front of the craft, shining in the light. The craft itself was jet black, making it look even more menacing.   
  
Cat put her hand on the shield. A sly grin covered her face.  
  
"Strawberry. This could be our ticket out of here."  
  
She inspected the side, looking for some kind of opening. Suddenly, the shield popped up, revealing a small cockpit.  
  
"Wha--?"  
  
She looked to the side to see Strawberry with her hand pulling back some sort latch. She laughed nervously, and backed away from the craft.   
  
Cautiously, Cat climbed into the cockpit. There was a small chair in the middle that leaned forward over a small set of controls. She sat down in the seat, shuffling uncomfortably.   
  
"Uhhrmm...."  
  
Strawberry jumped inside the craft. The shield went back down, leaving the two in utter darkness. Suddenly, the whole craft lit up with a bright red light, a low rumble coming out of the engine. The console that laid in front of Cat blinked wildly.   
  
"Wuu!!" Strawberry yelled. She looked down at the console. A jumble of foreign letters filled the screen. A loud voice filled the pit, the ending note sounding as if it were asking a question. The screen blinked with an odd green, small arrows pointing to a button in the middle of the screen.  
  
"PUSH THE BUTTON!" screamed Strawberry.   
  
Cat pushed the button. Small three-dimensional models of planets surrounded her. Assuming that she was to pick a destination, she awkwardly ran her hand through a random planet. The screen went black as the thick red letters 'PLANET EARTH' filled it.  
  
The engine rumbled even louder. The red light went out, the screen emitting the only light. Slowly, the craft lifted off of the ground, and tilted back. It shot through the ceiling at an incredible speed. Thick green moss surrounded the craft. After a few minutes, the moss shriveled away, revealing the large regions of space that were laid in front of Cat. Stars flew past them as they passed through the atmosphere.   
  
"Ack...we're...free," moaned Cat.   
  
"Yea...but where are we going?" asked Strawberry. She began messing with the gadgets on the console.   
  
She tilted her head to the side. "Planet...Eaa...rrth. Were going to planet Earth."  
  
"Then what will we do?" she opened a small door on the side of the cockpit.  
  
"I'm not sure...."  
  
Strawberry looked through the door's opening to get a blast of cold air blown into her face. Inside the small cooler was a small packet of juice, sitting on a frozen metal shelf.   
  
"WEE-CHA!!!!" she squealed, "JUICE!!!"  
  
Cat turned her head away from the console. "Where?!"  
  
The S.I.R. shook, and closed the door. "There's a packet of juice in there...but only one packet." She lowered her head in sadness.   
  
Cat lowered an eye. "What?"  
  
Strawberry' large red eyes begin to water. She threw herself down, and began to sob.   
"There's.... only...one...packet."  
  
Cat's eye's widened in horror as she grabbed the cooler handle, and flung open the door.  
  
"NOOO!"  
  
Indeed, there was only one (Yes, ONE) packet of juice left. It sat on the metal shelf in a sinister way, as if daring the duo to puncture its soft straw opening, and take a nice, long sip. Cat shot a look at Strawberry, and shut to door.  
  
"We should...try to save the packet..." said Cat. She turned her attention back at the console. The S.I.R. nodded in agreement, and began messing with the contraptions around her--  
  
"Strawberry..." trailed off Cat.  
  
"Yeeeees?"  
  
"Get your hand off the cooler. Now."  
  
Strawberry winced as she removed her had off of the handle.  
  
This was going to be a long trip... 


	2. The Horrible Crash

A/N: Yay! Ch.2 is short! x3 Ah weeeell. I must thank Daz for beta-reading this small thingy at 1:00 in the morning.....o.o;;

If you want to send in some fan art for my fic, just e-mail me. Pshraw. 

Disclaimer: All Invader Zim characters belong to JHONEN VASQUEZ. Cat, Strawberry, and the Laij-khan race belong to MOI!

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S p o o k y, D o o m, S p o o k y ! 

Ch. 2- The Horrible Crash

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"Are we there yet?"

Cat hissed. "You've been asking that for the last hour...and I've told you hundreds of times......no."

"Are we there--," Strawberry got cut off. Cat had taken a hold of her transmitter, and pulled her onto her lap. Strawberry could see the stern look on her face, luminous from the glow of the control console. She yelped, and winced under her piercing glare.

"Look _Strawberry,_" she growled, "we've been traveling through space for the last five days, nonstop, with only ONE juice packet--," she peered over at the small cooler built into the side of the cockpit, "and traveling to a planet that we've never heard of. I believe the Super Tyrannical Center Planets were completely destroyed from the attack. We're probably the ONLY survivors, and my tolerance is VERY LOW."

Strawberry's eyes squinted.

"....Ooohh....oh no...," Cat moaned.

"Deerg--! I--! WAAA!!!!!!"

Strawberry buried her large metallic head into Cat's chest. She wrapped her arms around her waist, and sobbed. Cat pried the small metallic robot away from her waist, and held her up.

"Why--"

"I DRANK THE LAST JUICE!"

Cat dropped the S.I.R. "You _what?_"

Strawberry wiped her eyes. "It was last night! While you were sleeping....," she said in a low, spooky whisper. Cat raised an eye. 

"You were dreaming about cookies!"

"I....was?"

"Yes! I saw you trying to eat your pillow!"

Cat's eyes widened "What the fu---?! WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?!?"

The small S.I.R. sobbed loudly. "I drank it last night! ALL OF IT! It was _woooonderfuuul_..," she said in a spooky manner, her eyes widening also. She looked up at Cat. 

"I hope your not ma-"

Cat wrenched her gloved hands around Strawberry's neck, wondering how she could possibly choke a robot to death...

Strawberry smiled, then looked over her master's shoulder. The smile disappeared.

"Master...why is that hole there...?"

Cat hissed. "What are you talking about?"

"There's a hole--!"

BANG.

The left side of the console exploded, sparks flying everywhere. Cat cried out in alarm as she felt the small orbs of fire singe her face. She pounded a fist on the console.

"IS THERE ANY WAY TO GET THIS THING OFF OF AUTO--"

What was left of the console opened up, revealing a large joy stick. The determined Irken grabbed hold of the stick, pulling back with a great deal of force.

"MASTER!!!" screamed the S.I.R., looking out of the back window. "SOMEONE'S FIRING AT US!"

"I kind of noticed that."

She turned around to see a large ship that was the shape of a large dome. Large lobster-like pincers were on either side, with small mechanical mandibles in the front.

"Damn Laij-khan--!"

The large imperial ship shot another ball of energy at the small ship. The race never thought they would be attacking one of their sown ships, for the small craft was built to last. The hits didn't even seem to be phasing it....

Cat pushed the joystick forward, the great blue planet that laid before them coming into view.

"STRAWBERRY! We're going to have to land RIGHT NOW."

The little android gulped.

Cat scanned the console as quickly as she could. She sought out any button that indicated the craft had boosters, not making haste. She felt the engine rattle dangerously before she saw a burst of flame emit from the back of the cruiser. 

The craft zoomed forward at an incredible speed, breaking through the atmosphere. The roof became to cave in, a large beam of light shooting through the glass.

It all seemed to go so slowly...

Cat heard her S.I.R. scream as the large beam pierced through her metallic chest, sending her flying towards the front of the cockpit. The shield shattered, each small piece slowly moving forward. The confused Irken could see each part of the Laij-khan's creation bend before she heard the engine explode, and the universe went black. 

+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-

The man opened his eyes. He had been snoozing rather peacefully before he heard a loud crash echo throughout the block. Filled with curiosity, he got out of his lawn chair, and looked across the street. Several people were crowded around that odd house that belonged to that Zim kid, looking up in awe. He also looked up, only to see the roof covered with flames. A large vessel protruded out of the roof, which soon fell through, and disappeared into the house. 

The man blinked for a few seconds, sat down in his chair, and fell back to sleep. 


	3. Secrets

A/N: Okie! O_o I finished chapter three! Go me!

This one is kind of long...if you want to get anything, don't skim through it @_@ I KNOW YOU DO IT. I CAN SEE YOU. YOU'RE DOING IT RIGHT NOW!

Hey, you know that weird-dividing thing I used in Ch.2 with the addition signs? Well, that didn't turn out the way it SHOULD have, so I'm now used regular lines...if that matters..._

Eeei! Irken Insane ( II ) helped me with the first part.. I also must thank Killer Goth Girl again for beta-reading my ficcah @_@

Yay, piccies:

-Wafflecat (me, you silly muffin):

http://www.side7.com/cgi-bin/S7SDB/DisplayImg.pl?INO=172091

http://www.side7.com/cgi-bin/S7SDB/DisplayImg.pl?INO=172087

http://www.side7.com/cgi-bin/S7SDB/DisplayImg.pl?INO=128038

-Killer Goth Girl:

http://www.side7.com/cgi-bin/S7SDB/DisplayImg.pl?INO=128038

-Kate Wendt:

http://www.geocities.com/wafflecat2000/kissy.jpg

http://www.geocities.com/wafflecat2000/CatandZimKate.jpg

-Havana Nyguyen

http://www.geocities.com/wafflecat2000/for_waff.jpg

Like I said, e-mail me if you want to draw fan art for the ficcy. If you're too lazy to go to my bio thingy, just e-mail me at wafflecat2000@yahoo.com. THERE O_O Now get yourself a nice tub of poopcorn kernels, and read the ficcah...

Oh yeah! Turn out the lights while reading it...

Disclaimer: All Zim char are (c) Jhonen.... Cat, S.B., and the other folk you don't recognize belong to me!

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S p o o k y, D o o m, S p o o k y!   
  
Ch. 3- Secrets  
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****

Date: The 23rd day of the Year of the King

****

To: The Department of Sovereignty 

****

From: Commander Taxi 

Time is of the essence. I have included the battle charts that Master Gwar has requested for. He also ordered me NOT to look at the documents. I find this a tad bit odd, but he has his reasons. They are rather old documents, so I suggest you handle them with care. 

I am also filing in a complaint. I know that this is a very strict operation, but there are many questions that need to be answered. The Training Camps are very unorganized, for we haven't been notified when to start. No official date was decided, and the training has been kept on hold. Please tell us when we are allowed to begin.

LST- I have hid the documents in a new model of the Craftar. Masters' orders.

_____________________________________________________________________________________

Zim growled. It was midnight, had he had just failed another one of his world domination plans. If it just weren't for that Dib monster! How was HE supposed to know that humans were immune to BUTTER?!?

He trudged along the sidewalk, dragging G.I.R. along the way. 

"I am completely enraged!" Zim cried out. "I can't let that miserable Dib human prevent me from my mission, G.I.R.!"

G.I.R. squeaked. He was slurping happily on his Poop slushie while looking us at the full moon. He felt a sharp turn as Zim pulled him to the left.

"As soon as I get to the lab, I must check on the laser weasel experiments. The first group developed faster than I thought, so I don't want the latest group to overdevelop."

Zim looked up. He instantly let go of G.I.R. as his mouth widened. G.I.R. cocked his head, and looked up at his master. His face was twitching violently; his antennae bent forward. G.I.R. looked across the street to see a small crowd of curious neighbors standing in front of the Zim's smoldering house. Several people returned back to their own homes while the others lingered around the side before walking away, scratching their heads in much confusion.

Zim blinked. He shook his head, then ran toward his house. He stopped in front of the gateway, taking a closer look at his roof. It was obvious that a large ship had crashed through it, but from what race, it was unknown to him. He backed up a few feet, making sure not to trip over G.I.R.

"There must be some sort of markings on this thing that could tell me..." He trailed off. He rubbed his eyes, making sure his vision wasn't fooling him. 

A large, red symbol was on the side of the craft, one that seemed very familiar to Zim. 

"That looks like--"

His eyes went wide. He remembered in the Academy when the instructors had shown him pictures of the different kinds of ships to watch out for from planet Melek. There were two specific kinds, and this ship looked very similar to a model. But indeed, it had the Laij-khan symbol of possession printed upon it, so it MUST have been from Melek. He thought about it, screamed, and ran back across the street under a lamppost. G.I.R. followed him and plopped himself down next to the pole.

Zim's mind raced. Certainly, if it was a ship from Melek, a person from Melek must have been PILOTING it; and if a person from Melek had been piloting it, that meant that the person was in his house, and if that person was in his house, it would have certainly known that it belonged to an Irken Invader, then if they had known THAT, they certainly would have already began to steal his information and was creeping around his living room right now, waiting for him to enter through his door and--

"G.I.R.! I want you to go inside and see if you see anything...unusual!" Zim commanded. G.I.R. grinned, and hopped toward the house. He opened the door, and ran in.

Zim tapped his foot on the concrete impatiently, waiting for the robot to return. An hour passed. He began to walk toward the house when G.I.R. ran out screaming. He jumped, and stared at him.

"What happened?!?" He demanded. G.I.R. bounced.

"I made waffles!" He cried, shoving a large waffle into Zim's mouth. He spat them out, and glared.

"Oh yeah! And I found this thingy."

He handed him a small piece of red metal. Zim raised an eye, and inspected it. Weird markings were encrypted in it, glowing in the darkness. 

"That's all you saw?"

"Well....," G.I.R. blinked. "I saw a person in the space-thingy!"

"Were they moving?"

"Noooo...," he said in a high pitched voice. He munched on his waffle.

Zim shuddered. He walked into his yard, and stepped onto his porch. Turning the knob with a quick flick of the wrist, he jumped inside, and pinned himself against the wall. The walls were black with dust. Half of the roof had caved in, but he could see clearly in the moonlight the front of the ship. He walked over to the cockpit, and looked down. The shield was cracked right in the middle. Zim carefully pulled off the shield, and leaned into the cockpit. 

"What the--"

He reached his hands down, and felt a soft cloth. His fingers ran across a small body; he reached under it, and quickly pulled it out of the cockpit. 

"Ooo!" G.I.R. looked down at the figure. It was a small Irken female, a little bit shorter than Zim. Her black uniform was slightly burnt at the end, cutting off at the top of her knees. A small yellow star was sewn onto it in the middle, shining in the moonlight. He looked onto the top of her head too see blood stains on her star-patterned scarf. 

"Why would an Irken be flying a ship from Melek...?" He wondered out loud. He set her down onto the living room floor.

The entire vessel was slanted upward through the ceiling, so Zim had to bend over to get his entire body into the cockpit. He was greeted with a tangle of wires and odd-shaped controls. He tried to stand up, but ended up bashing his head onto the metal ceiling.

"Gra--"

Zim lifted his hand. He had hit a round, metal object that was entangled in the jungle of wires. It began to vibrate; Zim backed up at the object fell to the floor.

"Hai!"

Two large, red orbs on the object began to glow. Zim picked it up, climbed out of the cockpit, and held it into the light.

"It's a S.I.R.!"

The S.I.R. jumped out of his grasp, and stood up.

"HEY! Who is you?!?"

Zim blinked. "Who are YOU?!?"

The S.I.R. stared. "I...don't know." 

She fell to the ground and sobbed madly. G.I.R. poked her head while twiddling with her transmitter.

"HEY!" 

She bit his hand, and ripped his arm out of its socket. G.I.R. cried, and tackled the S.I.R. Zim pried them off each other, and looked back down at the female. He looked over at the aggravated S.I.R.'s. G.I.R. was waving the piece of metal he had found earlier above the other one's head tauntingly. 

"I need me chest plate!"

She grabbed it, and smacked it onto her chest. She grinned, and ran over next to Zim.

"I'm going down to my lab to see if I can get your owner back to consciousness. Then YOU can tell me how you two destroyed my house."

He picked up the Irken, and walked into the kitchen. He jumped into the trashcan. The two S.I.R.'s followed, tumbling down the chute along the way.

Zim landed in his chair with a hard THUMP. He winced, and watched the two S.I.R.'s fall onto the hard floor. He set her on a small cot next to him, and looked at her S.I.R.

"Now TELL ME...."

"What?"

"What is your name, and what is your master's name?!"  


The S.I.R. looked up at the ceiling as if she was in deep thought.

"My name is.....STRAWBERRY! COOL WIP!"

Zim blinked. "Strawberry Cool Wip?"

"No, you silly muffin! Strawberry!"

Zim blinked once more. "Ohhkeee..."

Strawberry pointed at the cot. "My master's name is Cat!"

Zim looked over at Cat. "Alright. Now tell me....HOW DID THIS HAPPEN?!?"

Strawberry smiled. "We was on this planet, we escaped, and crashed here!"

Zim's face softened. "Escaped? From planet Melek?"

Strawberry nodded. "Our group-thingy was destroyed, and they kidnapped us! My master wasn't awake, but this person said they had to destroy us because--"

Cat groaned. Zim spun around, and looked at her. 

"Cookies! ....Oreos, oh yeah..."

"...Urm..."

"WHAT?" Cat shot up. Her purple eyes were wide with fear. She looked over at Zim's blank face, and screeched.

"WHO ARE YOU?!?"

Zim squinted. "That's what I've been trying to figure out all night."

Cat glared. "You...INVADER! I REFUSE TO BE APART OF THE TWISTED EXPERIMENTS THAT YOU CONDUCT IN YOUR EVIL SECRET LAB! IF YOU THINK YOU CAN PROBE ME, THEN TURN ME IN, YOU ARE INCORRECT! I'LL DIE BEFORE THAT HAPPENS!"

Zim blinked. "Are you done?"

Cat panted, and fell back onto the cot. "Yes. Ah Irk, I think I broke my back."

Zim watched her lay back down. He scanned he body. 

"What rank are you?"

She looked to the side. "I'm not apart of the Irken Empire."

Zim recoiled. The only Irkens who weren't apart of the race were outcasts...or space clowns.

"Urrm...maybe we should talk tomorrow."

Cat glared at him rather suspiciously. "Al...right. Thank...yew."

She brought her knees to her chest, and closed her eyes. Zim stared for a moment before turning around to see G.I.R. and Strawberry sleeping on his worktable.

Letting loose a deep sigh, he laid back into his chair, and fell asleep.

_____________________________________________________________________________________

****

"WHAT HAPPENED TO THEM?!?"

Taxi looked to the side. "I'm not sure."

The Juba Beast screeched. 

"If YOU don't find those documents...."

Taxi glared. "Cat must have ESCAPED from you, and taken the Craftar."

The beast glared. It climbed out of the darkness, and carefully took the Irken by the neck. 

"I don't ever want you getting cocky ever again. If you do..."

Taxi coughed. "Yes sir."

It let go, and slunk back into the darkness. Taxi rubbed his neck, and walked out of the obscure room in silence.


	4. Skool is for Fools

A/N: RRRG. That large space in chapter three makes me angry like an Asian gorilla. Oh well...if you notist that I changed the dividing lines AGAIN, then...your eyesight is deceiving you o.o Some of the events in this fic are based from RP's I've had with Killer Goth Girl. So...yeah.  
  
Ummm...this chapter is kind of connected with 'The Journal of Tsyami Membrane', so reading that first might help :3. *HI KATE! XD  
  
Disclaimer: You know the routine...All Invader ZIM characters are © to Jhonen Vasquez. Cat, S.B., Taxi, the Daimonion, other folks are © to Wafflecat. Xi is © to Irken Insane.  
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Spooky, Doom, Spooky!   
Ch. 4- Skool is for Fools  
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"This is bad."  
  
Zim squinted his eyes. A bright ray of light spilled over the living room. During last night, the roof had fell in completely, leaving the entire top of his house exposed. He managed to get rid of most of the rubble, leaving the remaining parts of the ship from Melek. A shiver ran up his spine when he had removed the cracked shield, and climbed into the damaged cockpit. He had remembered in the Irken Military Training School that a foreign ship could be carrying spy gear that could send back information about the Irken race unless it was deprogrammed. Zim wasn't sure that if the Irken female had stolen the ship, or worked for the Laij-khans herself, so he didn't take any chances.  
  
"GIR!"  
  
A low whizzing sound flew over Zim's head. The small robot landed next to him, shaking giddily.  
  
"ARR!" Gir yelled in his master's face, making him lean back in annoyance.  
  
"Gir," he said, "I need you to go down to the lab, and watch that Irken. Come back here if anything FUNNY happens."  
  
Gir nodded and screamed as he ran into the kitchen and jumped down the toilet in one quick dive.   
  
Zim looked down at the controls. There had to be something...  
  
He pushed random knobs and buttons before a small compartment next to him opened. Zim, being the (disturbingly) curious guy he was, jammed his hand into the opening and felt around. His fingers ran across something hot. The compartment glowed purple for a flash second before he withdrew his hand.  
  
Something was burning. He looked down at his now-smoking glove. A shrill cry came from his throat; he pulled off the glove to see that all of the fingers on his right hand were blistering from the heat.  
  
Zim peeped into the compartment to see a small purple crystal strung around a thin string. The glow faded away. He touched the gem again to see that it had cooled down.  
  
I miss you, Dib.  
  
Zim jumped up. Unfortunately, he was so alarmed that he slammed his head into the top of the cockpit with such force that a small hole broke through the thin plaster. Zim cursed loudly for several minutes in Irken, making a few sirens in the city go off.  
  
The crystal had just mentioned Dib. What was going on?   
  
The search went on for a few more minutes until Zim's attention span came at its end, and that there wasn't anything else to look for in the ship.   
  
The crystal he had found was clenched in his hand for a few seconds.  
  
"COMPUTER!!"  
  
"Wha-a-at?" responded the computer's flat voice. Zim's computer had a very bad attitude when it was called upon for another request that Zim had. The requests usually dealt with self-repairing itself, cleaning up whatever mess he had left behind from the latest problem he had to get himself out of, or--what the computer PARTICULARLY despised--advice and information. Zim assumed the computer had known more than he did, and this was true in some ways, but only some.  
  
"Computer, scan this crystal for any abnormal substances. Give me the status report in the lab." Zim held up the crystal to the large mechanical claw that had extended from the remnants of the wires that hung on the ceiling. The arm missed the gem , and swung around drunkenly several times. Zim felt his arm weaken; the arm finally grabbed the crystal, and disappeared into the darkness of the ceiling.  
  
Zim looked down. The tile he stood on began to descend beneath the floor. Zim was zooming down a long pipe, going down miles and miles of cyber-kinetic earth. The tube led him back into his lab. He landed a few feet above the floor, where the platform disappeared into the air.  
  
He looked across the room expecting Cat to still be sleeping, but instead was greeted by her operating his lab, pressing several different buttons at the same time. Gir and Strawberry were to the side, rummaging through a slimy bag of candy.  
  
"HEY! What do you think you're doing?!?" Zim was outraged. Who did this person think they were, messing with *HIS* equipment?!?  
  
"You're computer speed was running 46% slower than it should have been, you didn't install your language setting so that it would match the planet's, and your defense shield is down pretty low--"  
  
"Are you telling ZIM that a...non-Invader like you are trying to point out his mistakes--which he doesn't have?!?"  
  
Cat glared at him at the mention of 'non-Invader', and crept back a few feet. Zim closed his eyes pretentiously, and walked back to the front of his computer screen. Much to his horror, his computer was faster than it had been when he had left to his living room-- but only because she had crashed into his house, so she couldn't have been all that smart.  
  
"You never told me how you came to *my* planet." Zim huffed. Cat took the liberty of cleaning off the dirt and slime from the night before while telling him the story.  
  
"Okay...I was working in the main chamber of the Dome--you know, the center for the STCP chain, Super battle equipment Trade Center Planets (notice how Wafflecat has cleverly made this up after forgetting what the hell STCP stood for after making chapter one. Now feel the wrath of Waff's anger for you knowing her secret!)--and the ship got attacked. All the lights went out, and nothing could be seen except for the glowing eyes of some sort of odd creatures that must have found their way onboard.  
  
"One of them must have knocked me unconscious, since when I woke up, I was inside of a place that seemed to be a volcano. This lave-monster...thingy (Zim raised an eye) had told me I had to die for some reason. It then slashed one of its claws against my face (at this point, Zim was staring at the long purple scar on the right side of her face), then tried to eat me. I escaped with Strawberry--not clean, unfortunately--into a room where there was a ship. I escaped and found out the place was really a different planet. On the way to a safe planet, they found me, and shot me down. And so, here I am, with no Oreos."  
  
Zim stared blankly. "How old are you?"  
  
"WHAT DOES THAT HAVE TO DO WITH ANYTHING?!?" Cat growled.  
  
Zim's eyes widened. "Okay. So you escaped not knowing why they wanted to kill you."  
  
"And they took my crystal, I think."  
  
Zim's antennas jumped forward, which must have amused Cat, for she was snickering under her breath.  
  
"You lost a crystal? I found one while searching the ship, thinking you were trying to steal information from the Irken Empire."  
  
Cat's violet eyes battered. "Why, how flattering. You found me to be a bloodless Irken rebel who was out to kill you. I think that's so cute."  
  
Zim rolled his eyes. Cat continued. "So, you found my crystal? Do you mind if I can...have it back?"  
  
Zim cocked his head. "My computer is scanning it for anything FUNNY. Earlier, it had burned my hand, and told me something about Dib..."  
  
"Burned you? That's odd. A distant..."friend" sent it to me...the weirdest thing it ever did was glow, and shrink in size--"  
  
The mechanical arm from before extended down in front of the two, the crystal in its hands.  
  
"The following subject study revealed that the object is nothing more than a quartz crystal, a normal type of mineral on planet Earth."  
  
Zim looked over at Cat. She shrugged. The mechanical hand tossed the crystal into her hand, and sped back up to the ceiling. She tossed the string around her neck.  
  
"What do you want to do now?" Zim asked.  
  
Cat leaned her heard to the side tiredly. "I guess...I could build a ship, and go see what happened to the Dome...," she trailed off, waiting for Zim to talk.  
  
"I'd probably be better to know what kind of planets are around planet Melek, so that we...well, 'we', if I ever found my crew, could go see what's going on around there." Cat slid back onto the cot she was on before, and began to look down.  
  
*"Well...," Zim looked up to see Cat taking off her uniform in disgust, searching through the pockets. "I am pretty good at anatomy..." Zim stuttered. "I mean...astrolo...gy...urm, ASTRONOMY! Yeah."  
  
Zim watched as a wave of nervousness crept over Cat's face as it turned slightly red, along with her suspicious facial expression. Gir and Strawberry only had a look of confusion, which was replaced with the anger and fury of trying to see who would win the Chewy Nerds Rope that now laid between them.  
  
"Anyway, I have to go to skool..."  
  
"Skool?" Cat asked. Zim nodded.  
  
"To blend in with the horrible worm-babies on this planet, I have to go to the human--that's what the species on this planet are called--teaching facilities. No one suspects my plans...except for one annoying human named DIB."  
  
Cat plucked Strawberry off of Gir. Gir raised his arms in victory, and ate the candy bag whole. "Wasn't Dib the person you mentioned earlier?"  
  
"YES!" Zim cried out, "the crystal said something about missing him." Zim turned around to a small container, and pulled out his wig and contacts. "There's something about that thing that the computer can't pick up."  
  
Cat shrugged. Suddenly, she felt Zim pull off her scarf, and place a large wig on her head.  
  
"What the faheezie--"  
  
"Look. You're going to have to come with me to Skool everyday until you figure out what to do. Before you go, you're going to have to be in disguise." Zim adjusted the wig on her head, much to her discomfort. The wig was a light red, and slightly poofy. Long, slender bangs stood on her forehead, along with a small plait on the side of her head. The hair went down past her waist to the jagged edges. Cat tied on her scarf onto her head.  
  
"You also have to wear THESE!" Zim held out two contacts. Cat nervously put them into both of her eyes, giving her light green pupils. Zim cackled at his creation.  
  
"Gir also has to wear a disguise," Zim said, "he should be able to give your SIR a disguise by the time we get back."  
  
Gir nodded, and looked over at Strawberry. "I'ma make you a pretty lion!" Strawberry glanced over at him nervously.  
  
"DON'T LEAVE ME HERE!" she screeched, and flung herself onto Cat.   
  
"Don't worry!" Zim said confidently, "he wouldn't do anything bad!"  
  
Gir laughed maniacally while chewing the head off of a stuffed cat. Cat glanced over at him nervously.  
  
"NOW OFF THE SKOOL!!!"  
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Zim pulled the unwilling Irken through the crowd. Odd looks were aimed at the two before Zim stopped in front of the steps. He let go of his grip on her wrist. She rubbed the sore spot and blew a few strands of her red hair out of her face. The crystal around her neck flew around aimlessly before landing back on her chest.  
  
"LOOK!"  
  
Zim jumped forward. About a couple of yards away was Dib and Gaz. Gaz was playing her GS2 while Dib ranted on and on about something that just equaled to a stupid babble to her. The two walked into the skool courtyard, Gaz departing from him to continue her game play.  
  
Dib looked up. There was Zim standing, glaring with much malice, when he then saw the person standing next to him.  
  
Zim leaned over so than his face was a few inches away from Cat's. "That's Dib...the horrible human that's always trying to destroy my plans--BUT HE HAS FAILED EVERY TIME!"  
  
At this point, everyone was looking at Zim, some a tad bit afraid.  
  
"...But if he's failed every time, then how come you haven't conquered the Earth by now?" Cat asked softly. Zim stared.  
  
"YOU LIE!!!" he screamed. Cat jumped back.  
  
"But--"  
  
"LIES! "  
  
"And--"  
  
"THAT'S A LIE TOO."  
  
Cat recoiled. The thought of staying on this planet with Zim was just too...spooky. She figured that she could build another ship, and leave early one late night, eliminating any attention that she would cause if she went earlier. Plus, it saved her the time of trying to think of what to say to him from her sudden unexpected departure. It would be perfect: leave a note, say thanks for the stay, and go see what happened to the Dome. No getting attached to him.  
  
Wait a second...  
  
As soon as she was done thinking about her plan, she felt the body weight of Dib fall onto her, and fell over. He had his hand clenched tightly around the crystal, and was pulling at it with all of the strength in his right arm. Cat felt her throat tightened. Zim screeched and hopped on top of the two, forming a heap of struggling madness.  
  
"You stole my crystal!"  
  
Cat felt her ribs being crushed from the two's weight before kicking them all off.  
  
"Are you crazy?!" she yelled. "Jumping innocent people...a person can't walk anywhere nowadays without getting mugged--"  
  
Zim looked at her oddly. Dib just growled.  
  
"That's MY crystal you have."  
  
Cat hissed slowly. "That's impossible. I've had this crystal long before I even-- ermm...came...here."  
  
Dib's eyes turned into a look of confusion. Zim's was the same, waiting for what Cat was going to make up.  
  
"I'm from...Nor...wed...ianlopolis...town."  
  
Zim grinned. "That's RIGHT. She's from Norwedianlopolistown, where she couldn't have met you, and couldn't be an alien."  
  
Cat slapped her forehead. Dib crept closer to get a better look at the gem, and poked it.  
  
"This used to belong to my mom. She got it from Spain, NOT...Norwedianlopolistown. When she...left, she had her crystal with her. You must have stolen it from her. Now GIVE IT."  
  
Zim jumped in front of Dib before he could do anything else. "She had the crystal first, so SHOO."  
  
The bell rang, notifying everyone to go to class. Hundreds of kids trampled over the three in a large stampede that went on for a few minutes. Dib felt his crushed glasses of his face. Zim grabbed onto the skool entrance door handle in horror, while Cat was trying to relocate a missing contact.  
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"Before we start out hideous lessons of doom that won't help you later on in your life whatsoever, lets all pay attention to out newest 'appendage' to the student body who's from Norwedianlopolistown." Ms. Bitters looked over at Cat who was hiding behind Zim. He had taken the liberty of tossing Zita out of her desk for Cat.  
  
"Errm...Cat doesn't feel like talking." Zim said slowly.   
  
"Well, no one really cares. Cat, please stand up and tell us about yourself. Make it quick."  
  
Cat stood up, and looked at the classroom. "My name is...Ca-a-a-at...," she said shyly. Zim snorted. "And I like flowers--"  
  
"Ok, that's enough," Ms. Bitters choked. Cat grinned, and sat back down.   
  
"Come ON...I know you guys can see that she's an ALIEN...," Dib said aloud. Everyone groaned.  
  
"Just because a new girl comes, and you're jealous that she likes Zim and not you--" The Letter 'M' said while looking over at Zim and Cat suggestively, which resulted with a round of laughs.  
  
"WHAT?!" Dib yelled. "For all I know, she may not even be a girl!"  
  
Cat jumped up. "ARE YOU SAYING THAT I'M A GUY?!?"  
  
Zita, who was now sitting behind Dib, giggled. "How do we know if *you're* not a girl, Dib?"  
  
Everyone was laughing by now. Ms. Bitters hates laughter. She whipped a long claw down the middle row of the classroom, making the whole room shake.  
  
"SILENCE!!! Skool is not a place to have FUN!!!"  
  
Everyone was quiet. Zim stuck his tongue out at Dib in victory. Cat slunk down in the seat, still glaring at Dib, who seemed to be having a contest with Zim to see who could stick out their tongue the farthest. Ms. Bitters got out a large book, ignoring the two.  
  
So, the lessons began. Ms. Bitters teaching method usually consisted of several hours of her saying 'doom', or her teaching about the more horrible aspects of life. Today, she taught about the world's most deadly insects, and even had several students touch and feel her specimens. When she commanded Cat to stick her hand into a jar filled with snapping red ants, all of the ants ended crawling into her wig. While most the students found this amusing for a while, all of the ants ended up flying through the air, and landing on their face. Everyone spent the next hour trying to pull off the bugs, not liking the lesson at all.  
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Zim looked around the cafeteria. He was once again secluded to a table by himself, plotting. Where was Cat? As soon as the lunch bell had rung earlier, she had rushed to the bathroom. That was about fifteen minutes ago, and she still hadn't returned. Oh, if she had only told him why she had went, his future probably wouldn't be as grim as it was about to be.  
  
Dib studied Zim as he picked at his tray. There was some reason why he and that Cat person had his mother's crystal. He had to find out...  
  
Cat slid next to Zim from behind. He jumped suddenly when he saw her tired face.  
  
"What happened?"  
  
"Nothing, nothing...," she said quietly. She held her stomach dearly.  
  
"Tell me."  
  
"No."  
  
"Tell Zim."  
  
"Nothing happened!"  
  
"TELL."  
  
Cat keeled over. While she was holding her mouth, Zim saw several black scales on her neck. His eyes bulged.  
  
Several people left the cafeteria to the playground, glancing over at Zim and Cat with grins on their face. If Zim was anything, he was confused. Was Cat an Irken like she claimed to be, or was an Irken rebel from Melek.  
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Xi fell back. The air was heavy in the chamber she was in. The Daimonion didn't like any cool air, so the chamber door had to stay closed.  
  
"Sir, we have found the location of the two fugitives," she said slowly.   
  
No answer.  
  
"...We have decided to go to their location, and kill them."  
  
...  
  
"If all fails, we decided that we would take over the planet, and all of its inhabitants."  
  
Xi stood nervously. She turned around and walked out of the chamber, not noticing the large cut on the back of her neck. 


	5. Really Spooky Things Happen in This Chap...

A/N: Now, for apologies. I apologize to Havana for misspelling her name, which is 'Havana Nguyen'. I also apologize to Katie for misspelling her name, which is 'Katie', and not 'Kate'. DAMN YOU WEBSTER  
  
Now to say thanks to folkies :o Uh, thank you C, for beta-ing mah fic...ja!  
  
Disclaimer: All Invader ZIM characters are © to Jhonen Vasquez. Cat and Strawberry are © to me. Could I really say that? O.o Uh...  
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Spooky, Doom, Spooky!   
Ch. 5- Really Spooky Things Happen in This Chapter  
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It was a new morning. The roof had been rebuilt, and the house was back in order...or in as much order as Zim's house could be in. Zim had his computer working all morning trying to figure out why Cat's crystal had constantly murmur Dib's name, resulting with Zim being chucked into a nearby dumpster. Gir had made Strawberry's suit that morning with Zim's disguise device on the back of his voot-runner. She was a miniature lion with dark brown paws and a long tail that she kept on flicking on Zim's face.   
  
Zim trudged back into his house, covered with filth. Gir just stared at him while smacking large a large powder-sponge on his face.  
  
"HIEE!!" he screamed. "I'm a pretty lady!" Zim just groaned. A long tube came out of his I.D. pak suctioned up all of the mess before Gir jumped on his leg.  
  
"Computer, send transmission to the Tallests!"  
  
The computer groaned. A lot of groaning seemed to be going on. Still being pissed about the past incident, it ignored Zim's request.  
  
"COMPUTER!" Zim yelled, "send the transmission NOW."  
  
"Okay BITCH, hold on!!!" Zim wrinkled his forehead. The monkey portrait over the Sofa lifted to reveal a large static screen.  
  
"Please hold on as our operators try to connect you to the communication network," the computer said in a high voice. Zim tapped his foot impatiently while listening to the waiting music ("Livin' Lavida Loca" instrumental). Cat walking in with a Suck Monkey and looked up at the screen.  
  
"What's going on?"  
  
"Zim's being a BITCH," the computer commented.  
  
Zim ignored the computer's remark, and looked over at Cat.  
  
"What are you doing?"  
  
Cat blinked. "Slurping a--"  
  
"No," he said, "why are you walking around like you own the place or something?! You can't go walking my house doing nothing but drinking a Brainfreezie!"  
  
Cat glared. "It's a SUCK MONKEY."  
  
"Don't listen to him honey, he's just a sadistic bastard whose never had a girlfriend."  
  
Zim's eyes widened. "WHAT?!?"  
  
The screen changed to a scene of Red and Purple eating large coconut moose-balls. Red diverted his attention from his magazine, and looked up at Zim.  
  
"Zim, this isn't a good time to--"  
  
"I just called in to ask you about something!"  
  
Purple's amethyst eyes rolled as he took another bite out of the coconut ball. Red tapped the side of his seat with his free hand, awaiting Zim to respond.  
  
"Oh! Did you send this PACKAGE overnight?" Zim held up a long parcel wrapped in light brown paper, 'IRKEN MAIL EXPRESS' stamped on it in large, black print. Purple choked on the ball in surprise while his eyes began to water. Red looked fairly shocked, and set down his moose ball.  
  
"Errm...yes! We sent you that over...night...," Purple trailed off. He snapped his head toward a confused Red.  
  
"Oh! Good!" Zim dug his claws into the paper, attempting to rip it off. After a couple of minutes of sorting through hundreds of sheets of brown paper, Zim grabbed the item and held it up in victory.  
  
"YES! Zim will RULE with this--"  
  
"Irken Subway 2-footer. Yeah, IT'S THAT GOOD," Purple squeaked.   
  
"But," Zim asked, "what can I do with a--"  
  
"It's--so...DELICIOUS! It can make any Irken...uh, Invader, become at least four or five times stronger...than before!"   
  
"Yeah!" Red added, "but only one was made--and that one's for YOU."  
  
Although Zim wouldn't become stronger, his chest did swell four or five times larger than it had been, and the Tallest just grinned.  
  
"Urm, we have to go now, Zim! Have to make new weapons for you and such!" The screen turned black, and was covered with the large portrait of the green monkey. Cat hesitantly bit on straw of the Suck Monkey, resisting the urge to laugh at his incompetence and ignorance, but considered the factors. Zim would naturally be offended, and would naturally kick her out.  
  
"Cat, why is it that more people can't recognize my greatness?"  
  
Cheezus Rice, this guy went on. "Maybe you're just stupid."  
  
"Huh?"  
  
"I said, 'Maybe they're just stupid.'"   
  
Zim nodded in agreement. Cat scratched the scales on the back of her neck and growled.  
  
"Urrm...I'm going down to the lab! I'll be back up before Sunday, so don't worry about me dying or anything!" Zim jumped into the kitchen trashcan along with Gir.   
  
"Yeah, yeah, whatever...," Cat mumbled. S.B. peeked out from behind the couch, rattling.  
  
"Gir almost ate me!" she cried, and flung herself onto Cat's leg. "Along with that small MOOSE....Is it almost that time?"  
  
"Time for--wait, what moose?"  
  
"The change!"  
  
Cat's eyes widened. She ran over to the trashcan and looked down, worrying.   
  
"I'll have to do something."  
  
Strawberry looked at her master take out a small container out of her pak, and pull the top off. Thick yellow smoke bellowed out as she held it above the top of the trashcan. Little did Zim know that he wouldn't wake up for a long while...  
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Zim woke up the next morning with a headache that could be equal to a morning hangover. He had woken up in a puddle of his own drool, with Gir staring down at him in much interest. Zim's baggy eyelids slowly opened, and began to look around.  
  
"GIR! What happened?!?"  
  
Gir only grinned and pointed up. Zim wiped his mouth with the back of his sleeve and stretched. Minimoose alighted on the back of his head, and squeaked loudly. Zim yawned and began to rub the sleep out of his eyes as he walked across the lab.  
  
"Computer...," he mumbled, "what happened last night?"  
  
The computer squeaked, yet didn't answer. Zim frowned, and went into a tube onto a platform that sent him zooming up to the top floor of the house. He managed to notist large parts of the ground that seemed to be tunneled out. Zim looked around suspiciously before zooming out of the kitchen toilet.  
  
"Computer, remember to never fill the disguised transporter in water."  
  
Zim pushed himself off of the floor, and slowly walked into the living room.  
  
"I can't believe--"  
  
Zim felt his feet meet with air, and found himself looking down a deep, deep hole. He felt the rush of air, and echoing sound of his yell as he went spiraling down the long tunnel. Two antennas slapped him in the face as he struggled to reach his pak. Being touch-sensitive, the three pink holes opened, and ejected six long arachnid legs. The legs stretched across the width of the hole, and scraped against the surface. Sparks flew, and the legs snapped off in a flash. Zim frowned, and began to eye the oncoming ground. Head first, he smashed into the floor with a loud crash. Gir yelled at the sound, and eyed his master's body rolling on the floor.  
  
Gir skipped across the room and pressed a small button the side of the wall. Hundreds of thin wires glided down from the ceiling gracefully, and inserted themselves into Zim's writhing body. Gir still had a large grin on his face, and waved at Zim, who was unconscious.  
  
The wires stayed in Zim's pak for a few hours, slowly bringing him back to life. In mid-afternoon, Zim awoke with a horrible headache, and a great pain in his left leg.  
  
"Gir...Gi-i-i-r...," he managed to say. He opened his crimson eyes, which rolled around in its sockets.  
  
Minimoose, who had been watching the whole event, floated across the room to Zim, holding a small sheet of paper.  
  
"*SQUEAK*"  
  
Zim stood up, and dusted himself off. The wires went limp, and zoomed back into the ceiling.   
  
"What was THAT?"  
  
Minimoose dropped the sheet in front of Zim, who quickly picked it up. On it was a large picture of Dib's head, which took up the sheet.  
  
"I KNEW IT!" he yelled, and stomped a foot onto the floor, "I *KNEW* she would lead me to a close end!"  
  
Gir cocked his head. "She gonna kill you with Dib's head?! NO!"  
  
Zim blinked, and looked at the picture again. What did it mean? Did Dib have anything to do with what was going on? He leaned down to Gir's height, and stared into his indigo, blank eyes.  
  
"What did you see?"  
  
Gir leaned back, as if he were an old man trying to recollect memories from long ago in the past.   
  
"I was hidin'! There was a lot of noise, then the kitty had pinkie stuff come down! You died, and started to drool over the piggy," he said, and pointed to a small piggy covered in drool.  
  
Zim's eyes widened. "TRAITOR! Next time, GIR, I'm NEVER letting anyone, even Irkens, stay at my base EVER AGAIN!"  
  
Gir nodded, but his smile quickly turned into a frown. "And the kitty is gone."  
  
Zim blinked. "Kitty? Strawberry?"  
  
Gir shrugged. Zim tucked to note into a pocket, and stroke a pose.  
  
"I'm going to go to DIB'S HOUSE! You stay here, and make sure no hobos come in."  
  
Gir nodded as his eyes crossed.  
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
The Membrane home was filled with loud noise, gore, and blood. Plenty of blood. In the living room, Gaz was playing 'Warlords of the Universe', a game based on dominating planets. Gaz was playing the game on the Gameslave 3K on the big screen TV, where she could have it as real and loud as ever. At the moment, she was slaying Kork, ruler of planet Leech. She plunged her scythe deep into his abdomen, and idmediantly began her mission to dominating the planet.  
  
Dib sat next to her with large yellow earplugs in his ears, paying attention to his monthly magazine 'Paranormal Extreme'. Outside, a person rung at the doorbell, before pounding madly. It took five minutes before it was noticed, when Dib diverted his attention from a centerfold of this years 'Ms. Clairvoyant', who was oddly dressed in only a turban and sash.  
  
Dib swung the door open in slight rage--only to be greeted by Zim. He pushed Dib out of the way, and instantly covered his head at the booming sound.  
  
The television set went quiet as Gaz held up Kork's arms in victory of taking over all of the planets in the galaxy. She quickly turned off the game, returned the screen to the normal cable station, and ran off with her Gameslave 2, muttering, "Get the next galaxy later..."  
  
Dib turned down the volume, and glared at Zim. "What do *you* want? I was kinda in the middle of an important article in my magazine!  
  
Zim dug into his pockets for the picture, and handed it to Dib. His faces turned quizzical as he looked at the picture of him eating a pie.  
  
"Where'd you get this from?"  
  
Zim shrugged. "I just woke up feeling like I was in a hangover, and a hundred-foot hole in my--WHY AM I TELLING YOU THIS? I only need you to...help me with Cat's disappearance."  
  
Dib stared into Zim's face in disbelief. "Why should I HELP you? And why should I care about your freaking red-heading assistant?"  
  
Zim moaned and shook his fists. "If I figure out what's going on, I'll give you that necklace you wanted."  
  
Dib's eyes widened. "How do I know if you're not lying?"  
  
Zim rose his head. "Did you hear that?"  
  
Dib's eyes went narrow. Zim stepped forward with his eyes darting across the room. A loud scream filled the room, and Dib turned around.  
  
The two instantly went running downstairs to where the sound had come from. Dib ignored Zim's angry curses, and bound down the long flight of stairs.   
  
"Heydadwe'regoingtogocheckoutsomealienstuffsokaybye!!!"  
  
Dib was nothing but a blur when the Professor yelled back, "That's great little boy!", and commenced his experiments. The two had now ran into the deep bowels of the basement, a place where Dib had never been before. Zim had followed Dib around ever corner, and down ever step, afraid of stepping onto a trapdoor, or wandering into a dark spot. Dib's alertness had worn away; he had begun to slow down. Zim's eyes darted in confusion.  
  
"Well, what happened to it?" he asked, poking Dib in the back. Dib stood still for a few moments, and begun to look around at the surroundings.  
  
"I can't believe you led me all the way down here for nothing!"  
  
Dib ignored Zim's complaints, and tried to pay attention to the room they were in. In was nearly pitch-dark, with only the light flooding into the room from the open door they had came through. Zim ranted on and on about never listening to humans ever again when a loud clank echoed off the walls.  
  
"Zim!" Dib whispered, "did you hear that?"  
  
The two moved closer. Paranoia filled the air, not seeing the door slowly close.  
  
"ZIM, GET THE DOOR!"  
  
"Nah, I don't feel like--HEY!" Zim jumped back and let his arm fly forward to block the door from closing. The room filled with a dim yellow light.   
  
"ZIM!"  
  
Zim's eyes went wide. Hundreds of yards away was a small S.I.R. unit tied in ropes, sitting in front a stack of dusty boxes. Strawberry's scarlet eyes were filled with all the fear a robot could have. Zim removed his arm from the door, and ran toward the S.I.R.'s flailing body. Dib stood frozen, and watched Zim run and begin to untie the ropes.   
  
"Come over here and HELP me!"  
  
Dib shook his head out of the trance, and immediately began to help Zim.   
  
"Zim, it was crazy shizzy! The master turned into the dragon, and then--!"  
  
"WAIT!" Zim cried, "Shizzy? Dragon? What are you talking about?"  
  
Dib frowned. "Okay, please tell us what's going on later. We need to get out of--"  
  
Strawberry's eyes widened. "Dib--"  
  
"No, I'm serious!" he said, "we need to get out of here. If there's any place that's not safe, it certainly can't be in--"  
  
Dib blinked. Was is starting to get hot? His scythe began to bend down onto his face. He peered over his shoulder.  
  
"Hi."  
  
Two long fingers prodded themselves into both Zim and Dib's backs, and hooked themselves underneath their clothing. The two were brought into the air, high above Strawberry. Dib didn't dare turn his head around to see what had grabbed him, while Zim was the complete opposite. He crooked his neck around to glare at what creature had lifted them.  
  
"YOU!!! What *are* you?"  
  
The alien blinked in confusion. Dib was staring at him in fear, while Zim kept on trying to interrogate him. Unfortunately, the creature didn't know a bit of the English language, so for all he knew, Zim was explaining the function of a rubber ducky. A thick type of leather armor surrounded it's large body from head to it's large claw-like feet. A long tail swung behind it, a long, thin spike at the tip. Another spike was on it back, curved forward.  
  
"What is an Irken like you doing in a place like thi-i--s?" it asked.  
  
"What are YOU doing here?" Zim demanded, this time in Irken. The alien was still confused and began to scratch itself.  
  
"Urrm...why are you in my basement?"  
  
A basic question! Zim rolled his eyes at Dib. "Why are you here?"  
  
The alien dropped the two from the air, and rummaged in on of his pockets.  
  
"Urrm..."  
  
Zim rubbed his tush while Dib picked up Strawberry. The alien pulled out large pieces of lint, a lottery ticket, and even a couple of receipts. Zim leaned onto a box, waiting for the creature to finish finding what he was looking for.   
  
"Urrm-a-a-a...," it scratched its head. "OH YESS-!" he said happily, "I'm suppose-id to kill you, and take the Jenjeki crystal. So...hand eet over."  
  
Zim looked up. "The what?"  
  
Dib's eyes brightened. "My crystal! Why do you want it?"  
  
The alien scratched his head. "I don't have a clue what you said little human, but I'm going to have to kill you, too. I can't have any witnesses. Sorry."  
  
Zim began to look around. "Urrm, can't we give you something else besides the crystal?"  
  
The creature blinked. "A sandwich would be nice. But I can't trade in the crystal for a sandwich."  
  
Zim smiled evilly. "Yes you can!" He reached into a hidden pocket and pulled out the 2-foot-sub from before. The alien cocked it's head, and snatched the sandwich away vigorously.  
  
"Wow...Tha-a-anks," he said slowly. Zim watched it stuff the sandwich down its throat in slight disgust, but gave a thumbs-up sign.  
  
"Hmm. Not bad."  
  
Zim stared at the alien and began to motion Dib to the door.  
  
"Hey, wait a sec--"  
  
The alien keeled over. Dib took this chance to open the door for a quick escape. Dib wasn't fast enough; the alien roared, and thrust his claws into his direction. The door closed, and Dib went flying into a tall wall of empty boxes along with Strawberry. Zim looked up at the alien who was stumbling forward, holding his stomach.  
  
"Sub...BAD...feeling pain in...BELLY!!!"  
  
The room exploded with large organs and slime that splattered on every wall and in every corner. Boxes flew around and fell when the alien's head landed right in front of Zim.  
  
"WOW!" He pulled off a rope of intestine on his head. "The sub must have been too powerful for it to handle, for it was made only for ZIM!!!"  
  
Dib pulled himself up, covered with thick green slime and various organs. A shiver went down his spine as he watched a large liver slide off of his leg.  
  
Zim looked over at Strawberry crawl out from under a pair of pancreas. She walked up to Zim cordially, and handed him a sheet of paper. Dib limped over behind Zim at an attempt to read what was on the paper.  
  
"More notes? What does it--"  
  
"HEY!" Zim hissed, and pushed Dib back. "This is mine, not yours!" Dib's eye's turned into thin slits as Zim read over the paper, occasionally nodding with a "HMM?!".   
  
"Are you done yet? I have to tell you something--"  
  
"YES! ZIM IS DONE!!!" Zim held up the paper in victory once again. "But--I don't get the last part. What did she mean by--"  
  
Strawberry snatched the paper, and sighed. "EVERYTHING HAS TO BE SO DIFFICULT, DOESN'T IT," she barked. "All she said was, "Sorry for the trouble, blah, blah, blah, listen to Strawberry, I really kind of--" She paused. "That's weird."  
  
"What? WHAT?!" Dib demanded. Zim took the note and put it in his pocket.  
  
"What is it that you have to tell us?"  
  
Strawberry cleared her throat. "Okay, you may have noised something weird about Cat, with the scales and all. Well, this strange *thing* happens every month."  
  
"What does that have to do with what's happening now?!" Zim asked, his eye lowering.   
  
"NO. Something different. See, she turns into this kind of beast-thingy. Like a dragon."  
  
Zim and Dib looked lost.  
  
"You're lost, aren't you? Okay, okay. She turns into the dragon, and goes into some sort of mad rampage, and destroys everything for 24 hours. What happened was that she didn't want to destroy your base again, and drugged you so that you wouldn't wake up for a while. She tried to find out a way to stop the transformations for good, but couldn't find out anything. After a while, she tried to figure out what the crystal could do, and kind of blacked out for a few minutes."  
  
Dib slowly stepped forward. "So she's somewhere...rampaging and destroying stuff?"  
  
"Probably."  
  
"That sucks."  
  
Zim looked at the end of the note again oddly, one eye raised.  
  
"So, after she had came back, she told me to tell you to use the crystal to try and figure out how to stop her...," Strawberry looked at Zim, who seemed to be fuming. "...and stuff."  
  
"So she expects ZIM to save her?! Well, I guess that I am the only one who can stop this--"  
  
"Shut-up and hurry already!" Dib said. "I have to take a shower before hearing all of your stupid ranting." 


End file.
